First Blog

"It's all about ME". I capitalized "ME" so there wouldn't be any doubt in your mind. This is my blog, Blog? I'm not sure the protocol on this. If you are looking for erudite prose on stimulating and intellectual topics stop reading this right now. Really I am not trying to reel you in and pretend this is something that it's not. In fact I'm only writing this because my best friend who is not related to me suggested writing a blog. Her life is exceedingly boring and she doesn't get out much so she finds me entertaining. I really want to quit my job and write romance novels and then probably get botox and a boob job then find myself and only wear organic clothes and eat healthy but never reverse my cosmetic surgery because it would make me look hot and younger. Oh I would also be sort of famous but the mysterious kind that live in Vermont but the warm Vermont not the one that gets cold. Tonight while eating a boston cream donut I was wondering out loud on the phone actually I was talking on the phone to friend "A" and said I am eating a boston cream donut and I am wondering why I'm getting fatter, or something like that. My 15 year old daughter told me that I am a loser for writing a blog. She does not even know how cool I used to be when I knew everything. Currently have my house up for sale but I haven't decided if I want to sell it or not which is probably good since only one person has come to look at it. After they left I studied the carpet to see where in the house they went and tried to determine if they liked it by reading the carpet scuffs. It's sort of like reading tea leaves but different. They spent a lot of time in my closet. I was sort of thinking the agent and the wife might have been checking out my clothes. "Oh my god look at those shoes, does she actually wear this stuff, why does she have so many sizes?" I have a thyroid problem okay? I fluctuate. It might have something to do with the 1/2 cup of sugar I pour on my grits in the morning. I'm thinking that this blog is going to be like some sort of viral hit even though I'm not 100% sure what a viral hit is though. It might be something to do with Youtube but I haven't figured out youtube yet I have a thing on phone for it but am still stuck on Facebook mobile right now. I think this blogging is going to change my life. I also want everyone to know that any grammatical errors are intentional. Well some are I have a thing about grammar I usually like people to use it correctly but am too lazy myself to correct my writing. I guess I like people to know that I know and not think that I am dumb. Does that make sense? Okay this is my first blog people embrace it.