Blog 4....I have writers block

I have writers block today.  That's right I am officially considering myself a writer because I got a little negative feedback today and so that makes me feel like, yeah I'm a writer.  I'm feeling a lot of pressure now that I have "followers" although I like to consider them "leaders" because I feel like they are part of a turning point in my life, blah, blah, blah.  So I did nothing today because I stayed up unitl 2am last night reading a book by Jane Ann Krentz.  I have read 14 of her books since Christmas.  Well I have read 65 books since Christmas on my Kindle.  The relationship that I have with my Kindle is similar to the relationship that I had with my Ken doll as a child,  I use it to escape or avoid doing things that I should be doing like cleaning my room.  Which is way better now because the cleaning people are here and my husband won't know that I slept for 3 hours this afternoon.  I left a bunch of laundry out today in the living room to see if the cleaning ladies and man would fold the clothes.  Yup, they did so I gave them extra money.  I did go to my trainer this morning she is really great.  We had our 1year anniversary this month and she still looks great.  I'm really impressed because in all of my previous relationships I have tended to wear people down and they start looking haggard at about this point.  Must be good genetics or maybe she's been tuning me out during this entire time.  I have started to really obsess about having people join my fan club, I mean, follow my blog.  This morning I called my sister at 8:10am to see if her husband had considered joining up,  I'm stil waiting.

Blog 3...I'm an international sensation virtually overnight

So I'm international, yes that's right I've broken the barriers of the volcanic ash over Iceland and have reached France with my humor and wit.   I will definately remember the people who supported me when I make it big.  I'm also being read in the Bahamas.  Honestly, when I saw that it made me think you know what I'm as awesome as I thought I was.  I am trying to break into the Massachusettes market along with North Carolina, it should happen pretty quickly since I have relatives in both states.  With my newfound fame I'm finding that there are a lot more demands on my time.  Let's see I went grocery shopping in Purcellville today and I felt like people were looking at me like, "do I know her or does she just look like someone I've seen on TV".  Many of you do not know this but I was a child star.  True!  I was on Captain Kangaroo when I was 5 or 6.  Like many child stars I've have had to redirect my career.  I guess I'm sort of like Shirley Temple because I now work for the government.  I am a bureaucrat .  So back to the new demands on my time.  I logged on to Facebook about 15 times today to check my messages I got one that was a question mark.  I'm thinking of sending an exclamation point back to her.  So blogged this morning, called best friend A who is not related to me so that she would become a follower she wasn't home so then called best friend A1 who is related to me and she came through as my first follower.  The reason that I had to phone a friend is because my daughter who was conveniently located within shouting distance would not become a follower until someone else became a follower, which I guess by definition is really what a follower does.  We (daughter and I) had my blog up on her computer and my computer because I wanted to verify that it really was available to everyone and I wanted to make sure it looked the same.   I think I have some undiagnosed paranoia (see above reference people watching me in grocery store).  OK blogged, Facebooked, groceried, then Cub Scouts.  So I'm at the meeting sitting on the side with another mom and I am working my new blog into the conversation because fame is about 90% self promotion and 10% talent.   I said, "so I'm writing a blog" and she was like "Oh that's great my friend writes one too and she just was published in such and such magazine".  Hello, I'm talking about my blog not your friend who has been published, I've never even heard of that magazine, I don't even think it's a real magazine.  I mean "it's about ME" right now how about some support.  Anyways, I smiled and nodded and looked at her friends blog on her phone, it's about shoes and handbags, evidently her friend, the blogger who is published, used to be a lawyer or something.  That is when I had to lay it on her, "I'm international"..."really?" she replied, "yes, I have readers in Europe and the Caribbean".  Take that lawyer friend who is published.  I think the point here is if someone that you only know marginally tells you that she is writing a blog the appropriate response is not, "oh my friend..blah, blah, blah", the appropriate response is, "oh thats wonderful, I'd love to read it, send me a link".  OK, then came home cooked dinner it was taco night. I forgot the spice in a bag that you add to ground beef so they didn't taste very good.  I also gave my son a hair cut and ironically I cut his ear with the scissors and there was quite a bit of blood, there will be a scar which is where the irony comes in because in Blog 2 Ants (Hindi title) I mentioned not scarring him for life today and what do you know couple hours later, bam! scarred for life. Ha, funny right?  I then spent, oh, probably close to an hour on the phone with friend A1, who is a relative, about my blogging.  She sent me some ideas, I have summarily rejected them, anyway we argued a little about blogging and her desire to follow me into the blogging world.   Evidently, friend A is conversing with friend A1 via Facebook and has suggested a "blog off" or something to that effect.  I tried suggesting a guest blog on my blog in lieu of the "blog off".  I figured this would ease her transition into the world of online information sharing.  She has declined.  One would think that as a former television star, government mover and shaker, and international blogger I would receive a little bit more respect when guiding people.  If you are looking for a mentor/coach please don't hesitate to send me a message I am more than happy to share my experiences and successes with you regardless of the additional demands on my time. 

ब्लॉग २ अंतस

I am sitting next to my 7yo son and trying to ignore his nonstop one sided conversation with his Pokemon game. I am also trying to think of ways to be a more involved mother but it takes a lot of effort that I'm not sure I'm willing to expend today. So I'm writing about stuff instead of doing things. We live on a farm. Not a real farm where people work and earn their living but the kind where people say, "oh isn't that just lovely, they must be rich". We have 10 acres, a big house built in the 80's, barn, fencing, trees, 2 bulldogs, 1 "heidi" dog (breed created by randomness which I have named), 4 cats (outside of course), 2 frogs, 1 pony, 1 horse, and ANTS. The ants adopted us unlike the other animals who we cornered trapped and drug home to improve our own lives. The ants have moved in on their own. This is the 3rd year that they have chosen our abode to harbor them in their little tiny quest for survival. Right now their climbing up the kitchen wall next to the door. We have had the exterminator out so many times I can't count. Oh shoot, the 7yo just read what I wrote about ignoring him. He had a surprised look on his face i guess I've had him fooled this long which is pretty good I think. I told him I love him, gave him a kiss, and told him I'm just trying to be funny. That fooled him pretty well. He just rambled on some more and I smiled and nodded and made approving noises. 7you STOP READING OVER MY SHOULDER!!!!! Okay that made him laugh and I can go back to the business of talking about our pet ants. They are climbing up the kitchen wall between the outside door and the cabinet of dishes. Ooh 7yo just reported they are in the bathroom also, I'm going to confirm in a few minutes. Bugs in the bathroom make me nervous because I'm afraid when I go they might get in my drawers. Oh nice he just told me something funny and won't let me tell you. Trust me it was funny, but I don't want to totally scar him for life so I'm not sharing with you right now. Maybe later when I can figure out a way to shake him. Not really shake him like "shaken baby syndrome" I mean as get him occupied doing something else so I can be free to post things that might embarrass him. We also have ants in the kitchen sink, yes it is clean of food and grime. I use windex on them to kill them instantly. Just like "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" windex works on a lot of things but it doesn't fix the ant problem permanently it just kills whatever fresh batch has arrived in the sink. I used it on the wall too but I don't tell my husband because he will lecture me on windex possibly getting on the wood of the door or the cabinets. If it gets on the door I would feel like, who cares the door is 24 years old do you really think that my windex is going to be the destruction of the door?" and if if gets on the fancy IKEA cabinets it will hopefully destroy them and I can get some new ones. Everytime my mother comes to visit she wants to put chemicals on the plants and animals to make them grow better and produce healthier fruit. I have successfully prevented her from doing this by claiming that I am sort of an environmentalist and don't want chemicals in our fruit and ground water. I really think it's just a control issue with me though and just don't want her to take over the plants and animals. She always told me that possession was 9/10ths of the law and I don't want her being able to claim any ownership over here and try to move in. When it comes to the ants I'm at the point of considering seriously toxic chemicals to get rid of them, like vaseline or hairspray. Awesome my title is in Hindi I think. I was goofing around with the settings earlier an evidently that is what I unwittingly accomplished. MY TITLE IS: "BLOG 2 ANTS"

First Blog

"It's all about ME". I capitalized "ME" so there wouldn't be any doubt in your mind. This is my blog, Blog? I'm not sure the protocol on this. If you are looking for erudite prose on stimulating and intellectual topics stop reading this right now. Really I am not trying to reel you in and pretend this is something that it's not. In fact I'm only writing this because my best friend who is not related to me suggested writing a blog. Her life is exceedingly boring and she doesn't get out much so she finds me entertaining. I really want to quit my job and write romance novels and then probably get botox and a boob job then find myself and only wear organic clothes and eat healthy but never reverse my cosmetic surgery because it would make me look hot and younger. Oh I would also be sort of famous but the mysterious kind that live in Vermont but the warm Vermont not the one that gets cold. Tonight while eating a boston cream donut I was wondering out loud on the phone actually I was talking on the phone to friend "A" and said I am eating a boston cream donut and I am wondering why I'm getting fatter, or something like that. My 15 year old daughter told me that I am a loser for writing a blog. She does not even know how cool I used to be when I knew everything. Currently have my house up for sale but I haven't decided if I want to sell it or not which is probably good since only one person has come to look at it. After they left I studied the carpet to see where in the house they went and tried to determine if they liked it by reading the carpet scuffs. It's sort of like reading tea leaves but different. They spent a lot of time in my closet. I was sort of thinking the agent and the wife might have been checking out my clothes. "Oh my god look at those shoes, does she actually wear this stuff, why does she have so many sizes?" I have a thyroid problem okay? I fluctuate. It might have something to do with the 1/2 cup of sugar I pour on my grits in the morning. I'm thinking that this blog is going to be like some sort of viral hit even though I'm not 100% sure what a viral hit is though. It might be something to do with Youtube but I haven't figured out youtube yet I have a thing on phone for it but am still stuck on Facebook mobile right now. I think this blogging is going to change my life. I also want everyone to know that any grammatical errors are intentional. Well some are I have a thing about grammar I usually like people to use it correctly but am too lazy myself to correct my writing. I guess I like people to know that I know and not think that I am dumb. Does that make sense? Okay this is my first blog people embrace it.